2021 “I want the pain to stop so bad. It is the emotional pain, flashbacks, racing thoughts that have been getting me since the funeral. Some people use drugs or drink, but sex has always been my vice, and it has been years since it was a problem.” I want so badly to just open up and tell you every little detail about my dating horrors of the last three years, but two of the men have passed away. Therefore, out of respect for their families, I will not go into detail about them. I don't want to use my experiences to hurt anyone. A few of the men I have dated have become great friends. I just blocked a man who didn't even know me but decided it was a good idea to tell me that I have nice boobs. I want to scream at the insanity. I always try to see the best in anyone I meet, but it gets harder and harder these days. Let us go back to where it all started. David passed away on 10/7/2020. I was a hot mess and completely out of control. I was living with our