Sitting in my Chair

I can’t believe David has been gone for five weeks and two days.  I am safe sleeping on my sister's couch!  My baby sister and her husband are buying their first home, so right after Christmas, we will be moving.  I am so excited for them, but I can’t help think we won’t be in the house where David visited anymore. I miss him so much.  I am reading a book by Kim Murdock titled “Feeling Left Behind.”   It is helping me grieve, which is a never-ending roller coaster of emotion.  My friends on TikTok keep me laughing when I feel like dying.  I know moving will help me as it will be a fresh start.  I put on David's 2x Florida Gators hoddie today, and I felt how much weight I have lost.  Sometimes I can't eat for nausea.  I am not a drinker, but I feel the need for some Jack Daniels.  I have gone to the storage building once, and I had a major anxiety attack.  Death sucks, and you have to take the emotions as they come, or you will ...

Someone asked me why do I share my “private struggles” with the world.  My simple answer is, “I might save a life.”  The longer answer is, “this is my platform; it is my safe place to share my journey.”  I am never as free as I am when I am writing.  I don't feel like I am walking on eggshells being judged by those on my friends list.  Sometimes I just need to get something off my chest so I can relax.  Other times I feel I have something important to say.   For years, I had invisible duck tape on my mouth, and if I dared to remove it, someone would call me down.  Now I have a place that I can be myself, and if someone doesn't like what I say, they can avoid my website.   I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is medical, or legal advice, but I do have experience in many things.  That is all I can share with any of you. Much Love Tina Louise 

What??? Yes, that was my exact response when Michael screamed at me.  On Halloween, Michael came in from visiting his children and unloaded on me for posting our relationship on social media.  He said he didn’t want his life on display.  Fire ran through my body as I loaded everything I owned in my car and left Sparta for good this time.  I have finished my second manuscript and don’t plan on hiding anymore from anyone.  I am so sick of being told who I should be and what I should do with my life by people older than me, who still don’t have their life together.  Tomorrow is a new day, and my baby sister always has my back. I am safe and warm tonight on her couch, and soon both our lives will change for the better.  Tonight Michael dared to message me, saying that I wasn’t doing enough to promote my book.  Writing my autobiography was never about money or 15 minutes of fame.  It is my story, and I walked through hell.  He doesn’t get to ...