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Yes, that was my exact response when Michael screamed at me.  On Halloween, Michael came in from visiting his children and unloaded on me for posting our relationship on social media.  He said he didn’t want his life on display.  Fire ran through my body as I loaded everything I owned in my car and left Sparta for good this time.  I have finished my second manuscript and don’t plan on hiding anymore from anyone.  I am so sick of being told who I should be and what I should do with my life by people older than me, who still don’t have their life together.  Tomorrow is a new day, and my baby sister always has my back. I am safe and warm tonight on her couch, and soon both our lives will change for the better.  Tonight Michael dared to message me, saying that I wasn’t doing enough to promote my book.  Writing my autobiography was never about money or 15 minutes of fame.  It is my story, and I walked through hell.  He doesn’t get to judge me or demand I give up part of who I am to make him more comfortable.  Let’s not forget that he was screaming at me that “this was his damn house,” and ”his life would be private.”  That was the last thing I needed in my life right now.  On top of that, we are putting an accused pedophile in the White House!  The whole world has gone mad.  

I pray your week was better than mine, and if it wasn’t, I send my deepest sympathy!  

Much Love,



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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

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Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo