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Hello May 2022



Wow so much has happened just in the last two weeks. My insurance disenrolled me from Choices so I no longer have a caregiver.  I am free to come and go as I please now.  I just spent a week visiting my new grandson and my sister!  I even got to visit with my momma.  Currently, I am at the beginning of an MS crash so I am resting at my boyfriend's house in Cookeville.  Yes, I said I have a boyfriend.  I will tell you more about him later, but for now, I am enjoying the privacy.  Alexandria is due with baby Peyton soon so I will be busy for six weeks at her house. I'm still grieving for David but I think I see the future with a more positive outlook.  I am not as angry as I used to be, nor is the depression as dark.  I have to run!

Talk to you guys later 

Love you all 

Tina 

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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

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Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo