My afternoon however turned sour. I had and episode this morning where I bent over to place a towel on the floor. Something in my backbone hurt as I bent back up. I had to go sit down instead of taking a shower. Then my vision blurred. Immediately after my mom left I called the eye doctor and made an appointment for Monday.
Then, I got a call from Richard.
At this point, I was scared but felt safe. I told Richard what happened and he immediately went into a doom and gloom rant. After listening to him for 10 minutes I hung up in tears. He said he took care of his late wife and didn't want to be responsible for me. He started talking about if this was to happen hypothetically on a trip, what would I do? I said, I guess I would ask for a wheelchair because most airports are handicap accessible, and they normally have wheelchairs. He then went on to say that he would never burden others just because he was sick. His words rambled on to the point that I felt totally disgust for this man.
This entire argument really started a few days ago. I wanted to visit him and he said he couldn’t handle what a burden I could possibly become for him if something went wrong. He repeated “I don’t want that responsibility”.
I swear my heart slammed shut. I have lost all respect for this man. I don’t deserve to be talk to like that. You know the funny thing is he is disabled too. All I know is I am not giving up on myself. I know I have bad days, but on the good days I shine like a new penny!
Don’t ever let anyone make you feel unworthy or unlovable because you are disabled!!!. You are not an inconvenience to someone who loves you.