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It's June Already???

 


The weather is beautiful here in Wartburg and my tomatoes are turning red.  As the winds blow a cool breeze off the hills I met someone unexpectedly and I pray my days of dating are over.  I am going to wait a while before I share him with the world because he is one in a million!  He likes me just the way I am.  Do you know how rare that is these days?  My family is doing good and I even got word that my dad is doing good.  I pray for them daily and hope to see them all soon.  

Alexandria let me keep the baby so I have now done everything I used to do with David all by myself.  I sure miss him, this Father's Day was another reminder that he is gone. 

We all grow differently and I personally always thought I needed someone to survive but I just needed to find myself.  I didn't need a prince charming.  After being completely on my own I eventually found self-reflection works for me.  

I also found good doctors who took the time to find out that I wasn't crazy.  I have disabilities and the new one is my thyroid.  I don't handle stress the way most people do.  I lacked the tools (hormones) because of the hysterectomy.  Multiple sclerosis doesn't help which is why my anxiety, pain attacks, and emotions seem all over the place at times.  Therapy helped me to not worry so much about everyone else and turn the focus to myself.  Moving here is exactly what I needed.  

When my year lease is up I might come back to Sparta to retire.  Alexandria wants me with her in Crossville and Austin wants me in Cookeville.  My mom and Janna think I should stay in Wartburg.  Whatever the future holds I know I will be ok.  I have done a lot of forgiving and acceptance because you can't change people or force love.  It has to come naturally or it isn't worth the effort.  

I decided not to put my happiness in someone else's pocket.  Codependency is not healthy.  If I have found that special someone they won't have to fix me.  I am in a good place.  I have had positive influences of support during my journey but I made the decisions to move forward and grow.  Everyone that touches our lives influences us but at the end of the day, we choose what we allow in and what we toss as nonsense. 

Love yours faces!

Tina 


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