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Loneliness


I haven’t written much lately because I’ve been dealing with some pretty dark feelings.  October 7 was a year since we lost David and I made the trip with his ashes to Hot Springs alone.  People talk about being lonely but this is beyond loneliness.  I feel like part of me is gone forever and I don’t know what to do.  I get up each day and I try, but it never gets easier.  

I thought I would update you on my love life because dating is ridiculous in 2021.  Nicholas and I broke up.  Scott aka Kirk came back into my life but he left as quickly as he arrived proving that David was right about him!  Even as a friend he is and will always be a user!  

I have been dating some but nothing serious.  I tend to focus most of my time on my grandchildren, and most men are not grandpa material.  Christopher and I remain close friends as he is the best friend a girl could have in this insane world.  

Today I got a contract sent to me for my book.  I have been on cloud 1000 all afternoon!  My life is slowly changing for the best.  I reckon God has me on a journey to find out who my friends are now.  

Much Love

Tina Louise


 

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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo

If Your Dating in Tennessee Beware

Ladies I am working on a story about dating, but I had to pause today and write this blog!   I must tell you that if you live in Huntsville, Tennessee please avoid a man named Adam Lee Lambert.  He is on Facebook dating seeking disabled women.  He tells a story about having serious car accidents and cancer.  He claims to have run out of his pain medicine and attempts to guilt you into loaning him some of your medicine until he gets his refill.  DO NOT EVER DO THIS!!  It is a FELONY!  Then out of the blue he will send money to your cash app and claim he bought them from you.  Before you know it he is trying to blackmail you.    I have reported him to the TBI, Tenncare, and his doctor.  I have spoken to the local police in Wartburg.     I always share the good, bad and ugly in my blog post but this is different.  I want to protect women from this awful man.  He has sent me messages on my phone and Facebook threatening to post nude pictures of me on the internet and to tell the police tha