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Happy Mother's Day

Hey readers!! I am living a busy life now up here in the mountains. Living with Multiple Sclerosis and living independently is no easy task, but I am thriving! I am so sorry that I forget to update you! I have spent the last 43 days unpacking, exploring, grieving, and falling in love! Remember, you can always check out my social media on Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. I promise I am finished with my second book, but right now, I don't have much time to promote it.  

Today is Mother's Day! I had a fabulous meal with Austin, Lauren, and Alexandria the other night! I also got some much-needed grandma time with Jackson, Kai, and Jeremiah! Christopher enjoyed family time, and the kids were so kind to him.  

I can now tell you a little about my Christopher. He has worked the same job for 20 years, and he has never been married or had children. He is also a filmmaker, producer, and photographer. He is probably the nicest man I have ever met, and he has never been to prison. He is actually active in the Civil Air Patrol. I didn't say much about him for a while because Ashley had messaged him horrible things about me, so I took the time to be completely transparent with him. I can honestly say he loves me the way grandpa loved grandma. If you are interested, you can find his film work by clicking the link below.  

I know I said I would not talk about Ashley anymore, but today her online dagger brought up the issue. I love you all very much, but please do not send me screenshots of her malicious posts. I am finally at a place where I can ignore her attention-seeking craziness. I know the truth about the past. I lived it long before my child. I have spent years in therapy, and I am not crazy. I remember being told to have an abortion, and I remember the conversations about adoption. I do not begrudge anyone getting to know their family, but making them out to be saints while attempting to erase me from the equation is preposterous. Everyone that has ever been in our lives knows the truth because they witnessed it. Therefore, my daughter is embarrassing herself, and people find it rather comical. That is one thing about Chad and David....they never took away from me that I loved and raised my children. They thanked me and apologized to me for making life more complicated. I made mistakes, but I was always there, and I am still here until I take my last breath.  

I love my apartment, and everything in my life is good.  Despite the many health issues, I strive hard to keep my chin up and move forward.  Life is too short to let yourself fall victim to other's internal wars.    

Much Love, 

Tina Louise




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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo

My Reality

TennCare called today and requested a new PAE, and it got me to thinking about my daily needs. On social media, I tend to be very positive and encouraging or funny because I know how depressing being disabled can be, especially during the quarantine. I wonder if people see my social media and get the wrong impression of my reality?  Do they know that I published my autobiography and assume that I make money from book sales?  Do they see the videos I post, and assume that I don’t need help with everyday life? The cold hard truth is I need help every day with everything I do! I have grown used to people assuming things because I am capable of putting on a smile at a moment's notice.  As a trauma survivor, the ability to put on a fake smile becomes apart of your personality.  As a mother who had to fight to keep her daughter, I learned to shut my mouth and obey the system. I want to use this blog to make it clear that I need help with the necessary daily tasks.  I forget to ea