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Hold my Pencil and Watch this…


I am so fucking sick of being the nice one!  Even when I wrote my autobiography I was nice.  I could have made folk's eyes bleed, but I didn't.  I choose to be the better person!  

I am sick of taking the blame for the bastards who hurt my daughters!  I was left to pick up the pieces of their broken souls!  Plus I worked three jobs and remained the constant in their lives, when others jumped ship!  I did the very best I could!  I made mistakes because I'm not fucking perfect! Now when I need my daughters they hate me.  Now I am the evil villain.  No more!  

I’m not staying around for this bullshit.  I am not the family punching bag!  I damn sure ain’t gonna move back closer to it.  I did my job I raised my kids, and now that David- is gone, I see no reason for me to stick around!  I have no desire to be trash-talked and blamed for my daughter's bad life decisions!  

What about my son?  He helped me move and gave me a job when I needed to earn extra money.  I love my son, and he doesn't shut me out.  He he has a family of his own and he works hard.  My son and his wife are awesome!  I figured anywhere I move they will come to visit when they can.  

Well those are my thoughts for today.  I hope you all have a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

Much Love

Tina Louise 


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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

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