18 Wheels & A Dozen Roses

Hey, fans let's just say I didn't let my last dating fiasco keep me down. I met a man named Nicolas Adair. I packed my bags, and he took me over the road in his semi. It was an exciting adventure. Nick is a tall, dark-headed man with beautiful brown eyes. To say that I am in love is an understatement. The man has so much knowledge and can hold his own in any conversation. We talked for hours and hours about anything and everything. I got to visit Kentucky, Indiana, and Illinois. The only downside to being on the truck is not having a toilet exactly when you want one and the bed is a little small. However, being with Nick out on the open road made me so happy. His dog Max is a love bug and very protective.

One night while Nick was sleeping I was upfront reading when I looked over to see a driver pouring out something from a large container. It was one of those times I wish I had not let something catch my eye, because then he flashed his penis at me while asking if I wanted to fuck. Nick got up and handled it and I went back to sleep. I have never felt so safe and protected. I can't wait to see him again.

On a somber note, my life, in general, is like living in heaven and hell simultaneously! I am still grieving David. I want to call him and tell him about this wonderful man I have found, but my best friend is gone. October 7, 2021, will be a year since he left this world. He would love Nick and I know in a different situation they would be friends.

Ashley still hasn't allowed me to visit so I tear up anytime I think about Elijah or Ellie. The other women in my family keep me updated the best they can, but my heart cried out to call them.

Well, I am off to bed.

Much Love

Tina Louise #sittinginmychair

Comments

We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself. I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?” Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”! I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?. I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything. The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me. I was crying and feeling very sad. I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary. It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos. Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing. You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic. I didn't see any mask. Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo

My Reality

TennCare called today and requested a new PAE, and it got me to thinking about my daily needs. On social media, I tend to be very positive and encouraging or funny because I know how depressing being disabled can be, especially during the quarantine. I wonder if people see my social media and get the wrong impression of my reality? Do they know that I published my autobiography and assume that I make money from book sales? Do they see the videos I post, and assume that I don’t need help with everyday life? The cold hard truth is I need help every day with everything I do! I have grown used to people assuming things because I am capable of putting on a smile at a moment's notice. As a trauma survivor, the ability to put on a fake smile becomes apart of your personality. As a mother who had to fight to keep her daughter, I learned to shut my mouth and obey the system. I want to use this blog to make it clear that I need help with the necessary daily tasks. I forget to ea

Sitting in my Chair

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