Endings and Beginnings

Since I was a teenager, I have been educated to the ins and outs of child custody and divorce. I am 42 years old, and I have four divorces under my belt. However, today I felt deep sadness when my baby girl handed me her final divorce papers. I never wanted my children to experience divorce! They had been through enough of it growing up. Not only do I feel like a failure as a wife, but also as a mom. I feel like I didn’t equip them with the tools they needed to find a faithful spouse or the tools they would need to weather the storms. I know it isn’t my fault, but the guilt still creeps in when these things happen to your children.

My mother, sister, and I talked about how we felt tremendous failure during and after our divorces. I do pray my daughter doesn’t feel like a failure because she tried many times to make it work. Sometimes it is the only way out of a toxic situation. My son filed his last week, so it is a double whammy this year.

It isn’t just in my family, either. I have several friends getting divorced this year. Maybe it's the financial stress or the quarantine? Between the upcoming elections and family stress, I feel like the entire world needs a vacation!

Me? Well, I am going to shut off all electronics and play with my grandson. He loves my dinosaur growl! I suggest this for anyone fighting depression.

Much Love,

Tina

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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself. I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?” Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”! I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?. I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything. The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me. I was crying and feeling very sad. I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anythi...

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Engaged

You read it right! I am engaged! Patrick Flatt is my fiancé! Life has changed so much since Christmas. I have never been so in love and felt so much love from any man. Patrick is the mostly loving and kind man that I have ever known. Well except for my grandpa Phil and it would be impossible to completely match my grandpa! We have set a date for September 20, 2026. I pray we will be able to get married in the church my great grandparents (Stevens) started years ago in Monterey, Tennessee. I could write all day about the unselfish love Patrick shows me, but you really have to meet him. Well I am off to spend more time with the grandchildren. Much Love, Tina Louise

Sitting in my Chair

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