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Bittersweet

Yesterday was a relaxing day at home.  Today was bittersweet because it was my sister’s last day as my caregiver.  She brought baby tigger for a visit, and when Alexandria finishes school, I will be able to have cats again.  For now, I am living with her and being her live-in nanny.  She is working and going to school.  I am content with my current life choices, but I miss having a cat!!!!!

I don’t know how to explain it, but I sat out on the porch in the sun today, and I felt free.  Free of the past.  Free of the worry and stress from closing the music stores.  I am no longer financially responsible for anyone but myself.  I am free from the religious cult.  Free from my dad’s abuse and free from the guilt laid upon me by Ashley for being disabled.

Now I simply responsible for me, and I am good enough for myself.  I feel I have time in my life now for myself, which is not something I am used to having.  I have been working and raising kids all of my adult life.  Today I found myself speaking softer and feeling at peace.

If you have read my book and keep up with my life, then I am sure you want to know what happened after I left the mountain.  I am working on a 12 chapter book that will tell my story, January through December 2019.

Of course the world events are on my mind, but when I turn the lights out, and fall asleep to Gilmore Girls the world as I know it melts away.  I am walking the streets of Stars Hallow asking Rory about her baby.  In times like these I know it is a struggle to get from one day to the next, but I can promise you it is worth it!  You will feel a million hugs, and laughs if you simply hang on and trust God to guide you through the storms.

Love~Laughter~Truth

Tina

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