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July 4th

Time seems to fly by these days.  Over the last ten days, my life has been consumed with grandchildren, diapers, major fatigue, and leg cramps.  June 26th & 27th, I went up to Renegade Mountain to take photos then Janna took pictures of me on the railroad tracks.  Monday I had my telephone appointment with my counselor, Wednesday I went to my monthly appointment in Jamestown to see Dr. Clark, but we came straight back home.  Friday, I went to Cookeville to visit my cat and son.  Austin's hand is healing up nicely. Yesterday I managed to go outside while my mom visited and I rode to town to watch the firework, but I still haven't left my bed much.  The heat is my enemy, and I can't wait for Fall.  I can melt ice packs in an hour if I am sitting in the sun or riding in the truck because the truck doesn't have AC.

I have two projects that need finished...my fans t-shirt and my second manuscript.  I have time, but someone seems to need me anytime I feel like writing.  The news has me depressed too.  People are getting murdered in all the big cities at an alarming rate.  The hostility has spread like wildfire.  I have noticed the closer we get to the election, the worse things get.

Due to the violence and COVID-19, I have lost all desire to leave the house or travel.  Alexandria went back to work, so I have the boys 4-5 days a week, and soon Janna will not be coming to assist me with my daily chores.  I will be going cold turkey doing everything for myself again.  I won't lie; I am terrified that I will become a hermit.   It takes so much energy to do simple tasks.  TennCare doesn't seem to understand my predicament.  I got the letter last week stating that the court denied my appeal—no more Healthcare for me.  I was majorly worried, but now I see it as God’s plan.  I am blessed with everything I ever wanted and a beautiful family.  Other than my health, I don't have to worry about much these days.  I no longer have big dreams.  The older I get, the less and less material possessions matter to me.

I got to see pictures of Elijah and Ellie yesterday because Alexandria when to a cookout, and her sister was there with the kids.  It brought tears of joy to see their beautiful faces.  I love them so much.  Well, it is 12:03 AM now, so I am going to try to get some sleep.

Love, Laughter, Truth

Tina

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