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Seriously!!

So yesterday morning, Amerigroup calls and my Choices was reinstated.  I was blown away until my new care coordinator called and said TennCare decided not to unenroll anyone during the COVID pandemic.  I said, so once the virus is over, I will have to go through this again?  He said probably so I said NO THANK YOU!

My sister already has a job that she starts in a few weeks, and I have already begun to do everything for myself other than driving.  I might be slow and eat a ton of watermelon, but I am just fine!  I honestly think the insurance is afraid of a lawsuit because they discriminated against me when they set requirements that I could never meet for their program.

My life is good and peaceful.  I have enough to worry about taking care of my health problems.  On good days I do all I can to be a mom, grandma, and friend.  The whole court battle put stress on me that I did not need. I won't go through that again!

The doctors have told me for years to avoid stress and things that cause my anxiety.  I am finally at a place in my life where I have illuminated the drama and weight that made it hard to breathe.  I wholeheartedly believe that writing my autobiography and removing myself from toxic situations was the start of my healing.

I don't know if you are following the news, but more and more sex offenders are being arrested.  The virus seems to be nonexistent in my community, but the news is flooded with it and President Trump. If I want local news or even state news, I have to go to Facebook pages that I follow.  I miss the days when you could trust ABC news.  I don't even watch Good Morning America anymore and loved that show!

Well, I am off to bed.

Love~Laughter~Truth

Tina






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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

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Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo