Meh...That sums up most people’s view of the current world events. I can’t say that I blame them because the news and social media are a regurgitation of the same thing every day except they add to the virus numbers.
On July 8, 2020, I volunteered at the Republican Headquarters, which was a fantastic experience! Then July 10, 2020, I had surgery to remove some painful lipomas from my abdominal area. I am healing up good, but I popped a stitch last night. Grandpa came to my rescue and helped me to get the bleeding to stop, and Alexandria put new steri-strips on wounds when she got home.
My depression continues to deepen because Ashley refuses to let me visit with my grandchild. It has been seven months since I saw Ellie or Elijah. I love being a grandma more than life itself, so this is possibly the cruelest thing she has ever done to me.
My sisters (aka my caregivers) last day is Wednesday. Thank you, TennCare, for determining that I need no assistance with daily life. I did give the court battle all that I had, but in the end, TennCare’s point system beat me. I am not sick enough to qualify for Choices services.
Jeremiah is having the most difficult time after he eats, and the doctor has tried everything. Today Grandpa boiled his bottles and fixed his formula with new water from the store. He burped and spit-up up some, but it wasn’t as bad as this morning.
I keep telling myself that God has a plan, but days like today make it clear that life is going to be harder than ever before. I had the baby last night, so I did not sleep well. I got up late and didn’t eat or take my medication until 2 pm. I simply forgot. It reminded me of the many years I raised kids, worked, and attended college. I never had time for myself, and this grandma naturally wants to focus on her grandson more than her needs. Maybe tomorrow will be better....all I can do is pray.
Living with one of your children is stressful; living with your ex-husband isn't ideal, but losing your independence to Multiple Sclerosis adds the cherry on top! I am 42 years old and feel like my life is over. It is a blessing to be a grandma....but when you never leave the house except for surgery or a doctor visit, the looming “my life’s over” hits you harder every day. I know it could be worse, and I should be thankful, but I am sad. I wish I could be my cheerleading self, but until things change, I am merely adapting to the new normal.
I love you all so much!
Tina
On July 8, 2020, I volunteered at the Republican Headquarters, which was a fantastic experience! Then July 10, 2020, I had surgery to remove some painful lipomas from my abdominal area. I am healing up good, but I popped a stitch last night. Grandpa came to my rescue and helped me to get the bleeding to stop, and Alexandria put new steri-strips on wounds when she got home.
My depression continues to deepen because Ashley refuses to let me visit with my grandchild. It has been seven months since I saw Ellie or Elijah. I love being a grandma more than life itself, so this is possibly the cruelest thing she has ever done to me.
My sisters (aka my caregivers) last day is Wednesday. Thank you, TennCare, for determining that I need no assistance with daily life. I did give the court battle all that I had, but in the end, TennCare’s point system beat me. I am not sick enough to qualify for Choices services.
Jeremiah is having the most difficult time after he eats, and the doctor has tried everything. Today Grandpa boiled his bottles and fixed his formula with new water from the store. He burped and spit-up up some, but it wasn’t as bad as this morning.
I keep telling myself that God has a plan, but days like today make it clear that life is going to be harder than ever before. I had the baby last night, so I did not sleep well. I got up late and didn’t eat or take my medication until 2 pm. I simply forgot. It reminded me of the many years I raised kids, worked, and attended college. I never had time for myself, and this grandma naturally wants to focus on her grandson more than her needs. Maybe tomorrow will be better....all I can do is pray.
Living with one of your children is stressful; living with your ex-husband isn't ideal, but losing your independence to Multiple Sclerosis adds the cherry on top! I am 42 years old and feel like my life is over. It is a blessing to be a grandma....but when you never leave the house except for surgery or a doctor visit, the looming “my life’s over” hits you harder every day. I know it could be worse, and I should be thankful, but I am sad. I wish I could be my cheerleading self, but until things change, I am merely adapting to the new normal.
I love you all so much!
Tina
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