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A day alone

I awakened today to a silent house.  Alexandria was visiting Tyler's family with the new baby, and David was in Cookeville, helping our son for the day.  His hand is out of commission, so having his dad to help give him time to rest.

No one came to visit, not one phone call or even a message today.  So, it felt like a mini-vacation.  I don’t have much energy, so I did right to make it back forth to the restroom. I swear at one point my dog rolled her eyes at me as I cursed the Lasix the kidney doctor put me on.  I have grown to hate the bathroom.  Sometimes when I tell my grandson that I will be right back that I am going to the restroom, he says, “again.”   (haha haha). Laughter is excellent medicine, and lately, that is all I have, or else I will curl up and cry.

Enough about my bathroom habits...

Have you watched the news?  It is insane that the people are becoming the monsters they claim to hate.  It is so confusing and contradictory to what the movement claims are their mission.

I won't lie. It all has me feeling so depressed because the CDC claims that the virus is killing more people, and black men are killing black men, some of which were dedicated law enforcement.  It is crazy! Why would black people murder their people while claiming to fight law enforcement for unjustly killing a black man?  I can’t even post much right now on social media because I feel it will fall on deaf ears.  Riots are breaking out, and communities are being destroyed.  Everyone seems to be angry, and most posts are filled with hate or politics.  It makes it hard to spread love and positivity when everything you see is gloom and doom, but tomorrow I am going to do just that!

This little man right here is my light in the darkness, but I fear for his future as the world is sick.  We need healing in every way possible!

Much Love



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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

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Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo