Homelife is back to normal, except we now have a new family member! Jeremiah has brought even more love into our hearts.
Yesterday we went to Cookeville and visited grandma Jody, and Lauren brought Kai by to visit too. Then we went to my sisters to play with my kitten for a little while. After we got home, Trenton brought Lincoln over to play with Jackson. It was nice visiting with an old friend and seeing how the once hyper young boy turned into a responsible adult. I must say that out of all the guys Alexandria has dated over the years, Trenton is by far the best dad. You can often tell by watching the kids play together if their parents interact with them at home.
Today Janna came up and brought her kids to play with Jackson. I went straight from the bed to my chair outside when I got up. I knew if I stayed in bed that I would never get up. It is a good thing that I did because I got a fresh watermelon for breakfast! Alexandria is starting to feel better, and the babies get up early in the morning. David manages, but he has not felt healthy in over a year now.
Since TennCare is taking my choices, life is fixing to get interesting. I thought by appealing and doing another PAE that they would see I need help, but no. They said my diagnoses and medicines do not line up with my office visit charts. So in the end my doctors have dropped the ball. I have made appointments to speak with them about this but it will be weeks or months before I get in to see all of them.
I will no longer have any help from the government when it comes to my disabilities. I am fortunate to have a grant from the drug manufacture for my injections, so I will still get my medications. It just seems always to be something when it comes to my life. I mean, it’s been 20 years since the doctors said I couldn’t work anymore and four years since I held a part-time job. I occasionally help my son, but that is purely out of love, and no money is involved. I don’t own anything, so here I sit...single, 42 years old, no money and no assets, and my brain hates me. I know I know ...that was depressing, but it is my reality. Maybe God is closing doors so he can open new ones. All I know is at the end of the day, my grandchildren give me a reason to live, and that’s all I need. Material possessions don’t matter much to me anymore, but they never really did. They just happened to keep the family together because we worked together, so they were essential to me. Now I could live anywhere as long as I have my family.
Update on Ashley: it’s going on six months since I saw Elijah and Ellie. I was told yesterday that she has pretty much given her family the cold shoulder, and no one knows why. I understand why, but I have decided to let this play out. It always does, and then I have to pick up the pieces of my child’s broken heart. I wish for once he would straighten up and be a good person. Is that too much to ask?
I pray God gives me the strength to be here for my daughter Alexandria while she finishes nursing school. That is my goal for the next year. Oh, and yes, I have the second book finished, but I am holding off on releasing it. Honestly, I don’t have the money right now. People are focused on the virus and riots so all of humanity is suffering. It's a dark world so I will continue to turn my light on a shine just in case someone needs me.
Much Love
Tina
I had so much fun playing with the kids today!
Yesterday we went to Cookeville and visited grandma Jody, and Lauren brought Kai by to visit too. Then we went to my sisters to play with my kitten for a little while. After we got home, Trenton brought Lincoln over to play with Jackson. It was nice visiting with an old friend and seeing how the once hyper young boy turned into a responsible adult. I must say that out of all the guys Alexandria has dated over the years, Trenton is by far the best dad. You can often tell by watching the kids play together if their parents interact with them at home.
Today Janna came up and brought her kids to play with Jackson. I went straight from the bed to my chair outside when I got up. I knew if I stayed in bed that I would never get up. It is a good thing that I did because I got a fresh watermelon for breakfast! Alexandria is starting to feel better, and the babies get up early in the morning. David manages, but he has not felt healthy in over a year now.
Since TennCare is taking my choices, life is fixing to get interesting. I thought by appealing and doing another PAE that they would see I need help, but no. They said my diagnoses and medicines do not line up with my office visit charts. So in the end my doctors have dropped the ball. I have made appointments to speak with them about this but it will be weeks or months before I get in to see all of them.
I will no longer have any help from the government when it comes to my disabilities. I am fortunate to have a grant from the drug manufacture for my injections, so I will still get my medications. It just seems always to be something when it comes to my life. I mean, it’s been 20 years since the doctors said I couldn’t work anymore and four years since I held a part-time job. I occasionally help my son, but that is purely out of love, and no money is involved. I don’t own anything, so here I sit...single, 42 years old, no money and no assets, and my brain hates me. I know I know ...that was depressing, but it is my reality. Maybe God is closing doors so he can open new ones. All I know is at the end of the day, my grandchildren give me a reason to live, and that’s all I need. Material possessions don’t matter much to me anymore, but they never really did. They just happened to keep the family together because we worked together, so they were essential to me. Now I could live anywhere as long as I have my family.
Update on Ashley: it’s going on six months since I saw Elijah and Ellie. I was told yesterday that she has pretty much given her family the cold shoulder, and no one knows why. I understand why, but I have decided to let this play out. It always does, and then I have to pick up the pieces of my child’s broken heart. I wish for once he would straighten up and be a good person. Is that too much to ask?
I pray God gives me the strength to be here for my daughter Alexandria while she finishes nursing school. That is my goal for the next year. Oh, and yes, I have the second book finished, but I am holding off on releasing it. Honestly, I don’t have the money right now. People are focused on the virus and riots so all of humanity is suffering. It's a dark world so I will continue to turn my light on a shine just in case someone needs me.
Much Love
Tina
I had so much fun playing with the kids today!
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