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Cabin Fever

Wednesday, Austin called, and he had a horrible work accident.  A bolt went through his hand.  It looked awful.  David went and sat with him at the hospital while I sat with Jackson.  It was super scary, and the hospital was packed, so they waited for five hours.  Finally, they stitched his hand.  He got seven stitches.  I don’t care how old the kids get, when a call comes in that they are hurt, a momma prays and worries until they see their child is ok.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he ordered an MRI of my left knee and hip.  The pain has gotten so bad my quality of life consists of lying in bed.  I don't even have it in me to sit outside.  On top of that, I have a UTI.  The majority of urinary tract infections (UTIs) are caused by the bacterium Escherichia coli (E. Coli), usually found in the digestive system.  However, mine is caused by urinary retention due to Multiple Sclerosis.  My bladder does not empty all the way, and it makes a perfect breeding ground for bacteria.  I am fortunate that my doctor has a standing order Clindamycin and I keep them on hand.

I did manage a shower this evening, but it did not make me feel any better, but it did relax me some so I can rest.  I haven't written much lately or been interested in social media, so I knew something was wrong.  UTI’s can cause severe mood changes in people.  I tend to get very agitated, and even too much stimulation can send me into a full-blown meltdown.  When I notice significant changes in myself, I immediately go to the doctor.

I hate being sick because I get cabin fever.   I don't like being confined to the bed.  I will not be going on vacation this year or even taking a camping trip.  There are times that I wish I had never left Gatlinburg.  I feel the mountains calling me more and more every day. I miss the quiet walks in the mountains.  I felt so free, but my ex ruined that for me.  I have tried not to let his horrific crimes taint my beautiful memories of living in the smokies.

The virus and riots have the whole country in an uproar, but my words can’t help much because no one wants to listen to reason.  People are justifiably angry, but killing more black men will not solve the problem.

This Sunday is also decoration at Muddy Pond.  My friend, Stephaine, laid her baby girl Symphony, to rest in Muddy Pond next to her brother Jamie.  I will have to miss it this year, and that makes me sad.  I used to make random trips to Muddy Pond through the year, but money is so tight that I must conserve it for doctor's appointments and emergencies.

I have mastered the art of saying no and listening to my body.  If I ignore my limitations both physically and mentally, then I end up in the hospital.  Right now, it is taking all I have to help Alexandria with the baby.  Even with that, I fail miserably.  I had Janna relay a message to Ashley that I also would not be visiting with her Sunday.  My energy is depleted, and I need some significant rest.

I pray all is well with you tonight.

Love, Laughter, Truth



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