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Test Results

I am loving the Vanderbilt app.  I get notified every time new test results come in from the lab work I did December 31, 2019.  So far, everything has been perfect except for my kidneys.  They should call me any day now to verify my address for the delivery of the new medication called “Cosentyx.”  I pray that this will heal my body from Hidradenitis Suppurativa.

I am not as self-conscious about my body as I use to be, but I took a hard dip in depression five months ago, and it has taken time to recover.  Don’t ever let anyone judge you based on your body or your disabilities.  They knew what they were walking into, so if they don’t love you for who you are, then WALK AWAY!  You deserve real love based on who you are as a person!  If your love for the person blinds you, then I promise you that once you step away, you will open your eyes!

On to something positive...I had a fantastic day doing TikTok videos with my sister and friends. Then we went grocery shopping, and I have officially started Taco Friday again!  A nice lady helped me find a Valentine’s Day dinosaur for Jackson, and he loved it!


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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

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Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo