I hate writing about horrible people, but I am sick of the games people like to play. I get up this morning to a nasty message from my friend's estranged wife. Over the last two years, I have talked to her, but it was solely to help her sons. We were never friends. We never socialized and rarely even spoke on Facebook messenger. Her sons are fantastic kids and deserve a good momma, so I tried to encourage her to go home and be a mom. I also knew my friend wanted his wife back, so I gave her sound advice. I spent time and money trying to help the children. I went to court with her when she tried to get a restraining order on her boyfriend. However, I found out later that she took the baby to drugs control that situation. Even now, she continues to use drugs. When she had the baby with her boyfriend, DCS took the baby, and now her mother is raising another child. I am done! Somethings, you have to give to God as you walk away.
Tonight I talked to myself. I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?” Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”! I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?. I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything. The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me. I was crying and feeling very sad. I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.