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Sunday, Fans and Limitations

It has been a relaxing Sunday at home with David, Alexandria, and Jackson.  The rain and quarantine have kept us from venturing outside.  I hope tomorrow is a beautiful day so Jackson can play with his tractor.

My Facebook hit 100 friends today.  I still don’t understand how big creators keep up with millions of fans.  I have 1120 friends on TikTok, and it has taken months to get to know them.  I sometimes visit Facebook lives, or YouTube lives of creators with only 100,000 subscribers, and the comments go so fast you can barely read them.  I want my book to reach all over the world, but I do not want to lose touch with my friends and supporters who have been with me since it all started.  I think that is why I don’t push my content as much as others do because I am scared of going viral.  Plus, I do not have the money or a big publisher behind me to promote my book.  I have watched other creators crash and burn from stress, so I appreciate God allowing things to move slowly for me.  Living with Multiple Sclerosis is hard and as bad as I want to help everyone, I also know my limitations.

I sometimes wonder if I should just pick one thing to be passionate about, but I have so much to say to bring awareness to child abuse, rape, disabilities, parenting, and being a grandma.  I am sometimes reminded that I am much more than those topics, but my message is basically ”Love~Laughter~Truth”.  In the end, it is about protecting humanity, speaking the truth, loving one another, and taking time to laugh!

Love your faces!

Tina




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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo

My Reality

TennCare called today and requested a new PAE, and it got me to thinking about my daily needs. On social media, I tend to be very positive and encouraging or funny because I know how depressing being disabled can be, especially during the quarantine. I wonder if people see my social media and get the wrong impression of my reality?  Do they know that I published my autobiography and assume that I make money from book sales?  Do they see the videos I post, and assume that I don’t need help with everyday life? The cold hard truth is I need help every day with everything I do! I have grown used to people assuming things because I am capable of putting on a smile at a moment's notice.  As a trauma survivor, the ability to put on a fake smile becomes apart of your personality.  As a mother who had to fight to keep her daughter, I learned to shut my mouth and obey the system. I want to use this blog to make it clear that I need help with the necessary daily tasks.  I forget to ea