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Someone reminded me today that I have not been myself in a long time.  I was never one to post anything negative about another person online, but I have allowed ugly people to taint my personality.  The anger has gotten to me, and the pain has been overwhelming.  In my autobiography, I was so careful not to name anyone by their legal name, and even when I vent on my blog or TikTok, I try to avoid using people's real names until recently.

Now I just don’t care anymore.  The ones I write negatively about didn’t care enough about me not to hurt me.  Common sense is if you want people to see you as a kind person, then I guess you should treat people with kindness.  Furthermore, never has any of the people I speak about stopped pointing out my flaws or gossiping about me.  Things always get back to me because I am not a fake ass friend.  I believe in being honest and loyal, and when someone thinks I should be aware of something, they tell me.

I have written my truth 12/22/1977-today, and I am moving forward in my life.  I am walking away from toxic and embracing those who genuinely love me for who I am.

On a good note, I had an enjoyable day relaxing at home.  Life is effortless, but I love simple!  I have lost 47 pounds and only 197 to go!  I hate being fat.  I am losing without surgery and diet.  I am only eating in moderation and doing light exercises like dance and lifting my weights.

I love your faces, and I hope you have a marvelous week!  Stay safe, my friends!


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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

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Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo