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Pain, Choices, Day Trips & New Medication

This week the pain has been horrible.  I have hurt 24/7.  I don’t know if it is the lack of exercise, rain, or depression, but I haven’t left the bed much since Sunday morning until today.  It has mainly been my hips and feet cramping, and it brings me to tears.

Update on Choices.  The judge denied my appeal, so I had to type another appeal.  By the time I finished, I couldn’t remember names and I was so foggy.  I have found that when I am already in pain, doing anything that takes intense mental concentration puts me into massive brain fog.  It is a typical crash landing without an airbag!  I can only assume that the people at Tenncare have no sympathy for my disability because this has been going on for months!  Truthfully it isn't as bad as the disability packet that I have to fill out randomly because they need proof I still have Multiple Sclerosis.  LMAO, do they think one day I will magically wake up and be healed?  It would be nice, but I see no signs of a cure!

I haven't worked on anything since last week and doubt I will this summer.  We went to Pickett State Park today, and the trail said 0.4 miles (700 foot), so I attempted it.  We got almost to the bottom, and I had to sit down on the ground.  My little dog Hannah loved it, so I watched her run and play, and I listened to my grandson and sisters children enjoy the remainder of the hike.  David took some pictures for me, and I slowly made my way back to the van.  My daughter wasn't too happy that I could barely breathe, and she lectured me, but I felt so alive and accomplished!. I love being in nature more than anything, and seeing the children enjoy a hike without electronic devices filled my heart with so much joy!

This afternoon I got a text, and I was jumping for joy (not really, but it felt like I was) because I have been approved for free Cosentyx from the Novartis Patient Assistance Foundation!  This medicine is used to treat Hidradenitis Suppurativa!  Then I got a text that the medicine has shipped!  I have amazing doctors, and I am getting the best care possible. I am not giving up.  Although I know my limitations and my life is different, but my life isn't over!

Love~Laughter~Truth

Tina



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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anythi...

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Engaged

  You read it right!  I am engaged!  Patrick Flatt is my fiancĂ©!  Life has changed so much since Christmas.  I have never been so in love and felt so much love from any man.  Patrick is the mostly loving and kind man that I have ever known.  Well except for my grandpa Phil and it would be impossible to completely match my grandpa!  We have set a date for September 20, 2026.  I pray we will be able to get married in the church my great grandparents (Stevens) started years ago in Monterey, Tennessee.  I could write all day about the unselfish love Patrick shows me, but you really have to meet him.  Well I am off to spend more time with the grandchildren. Much Love, Tina Louise