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Long talks, True Friends and Tattoos

Last night I was going to go to sleep, but I had a few people I needed to talk to first.

Over the last year, I have made several social media platforms for my book (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Email, Blogger, YouTube, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Podcast).  Recently I took back control of the accounts, removing trolls, bots, and haters.  That, in turn, had me looking at my friends and followers.  I deleted many fake accounts and changed how I communicate with my fans, verses my family, and close friends.  So last night I realized that two people had deleted me as a friend and I wanted to know why.  After I sent the messages, I found myself staying up a few hours because one of my friends brought up the topic I like to avoid (religion)!   I love these people dearly, but for my mental health, I think it is a good thing that we are not connected online.  I do not need the stress of continually explaining my personal and private decisions.  My decision to leave organized religion is not made in haste.  The worst part of the conversation was finding out someone in the congregation had passed away, and no one told me.

The friend mentioned above also has a copy of my book, and never did they give me a review.  Out of the 100 free books I gave out, only a few even sent me an encouraging message, and only two took the five minutes to write me a review on Amazon.  It reminds me of that song, “you find out who your friends are.”  God has opened my eyes to the reality of who loves me and who cares about me during this journey.  I think he was preparing me for the future and allowing me to see where I should spend my time and money.  I get used so much by fake friends, and now that has finally stopped!

My tattoos came in today, and I love them.  The nose ring and tattoos are not permanent, but my hair color is, and I love it!    I have walked through hell, ripping off the layers of presets put on me by the world.  I still hate eggs, and now I don’t have to eat them anymore.  Years of brainwashing and abuse erases so much of a person until they don’t recognize themselves.  If this has happened to you, I suggest counseling and distance until you gain back your natural personality and spirit.  I had been broken in every way possible, and now I am on the path to healing.  Always remember Karma comes back in God's time and takes care of the evil!

I pray ya’ll have a marvelous weekend & stay safe.

Love your faces

Tina



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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

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Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo