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I haven’t felt good in years because I have a terrible immune system and several disabilities.  However, when I feel random, shocking pain, I worry.  Living with disabilities is often a guessing game from one day to the next.  Life in itself is so unpredictable that this virus is like the icing on the cake.  Essential workers have families, and often we let our guard down around them.  My sister raises her granddaughter.  Her stepdaughter's husband works at a prison and has been exposed to a positive COVID-19 patient.  He didn’t say anything until his work sent him to a hotel to quarantine while they wait for his test results.  This past weekend my sister, who is also my caregiver, didn’t think anything of her granddaughter going for a weekend visit with her mom.  She had no idea that it could expose us all to the coronavirus. we have been tested, and we wait.  I hurt all over from my disabilities, but this pain is so different.  I take a ton of medication and pray that my test comes back negative!  It was a painful test, and I cried.  It felt like miniature razor blades went in my nose and had a party.  I have a cough and my lungs hurt 😞.  Please keep me in your prayers.

On the upside, Alexandria got her bags ready for the hospital as her due date is fast approaching.  David took Jackson and me for a ride up on Renegade Mountain today, and it was beautiful.  I needed some fresh air!  Here are some photos.


Stay safe my friends

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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

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Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo