Skip to main content

Busy Bee

It has been a long week!  A dear friend lost their 21-year-old son in a terrible car accident.  They continue to be in my thoughts & Prayers.  #tobysarmy #joesphsarmy

The IRS based our stimulus payment on our 2018 tax returns and sent it to our closed joint checking account.  Surprisingly the bank printed a cashiers check, and we went through the drive-thru in Sparta to pick it up.  Janna drove us in her new van, and it was a very comfortable ride!  I love spending time with my sister on my good days.  They are rare, and I cherish every moment.  We got a few tacos and coffee while in Sparta, then we came home very thankful that everything worked out.  For the first time in two years, no one needed my help, and I didn’t spend a dime of it on anyone else!  I took back my life at that moment, and to my surprise, I had zero desire to see Scott while in town.  I finally felt free of a bad situation!  It was like the chains of the past fell to the ground, and I came back to life!  (It could have been the Death Wish Coffee) lol, but it was an excellent experience!

Today David and I went to Cookeville and helped our son with his new store.  He isn’t open yet, but I believe he will have a beautiful music store and shop once the quarantine is over.  I haven’t seen my dad in over a year.  I figure we have parted ways for good.  I did drop a few things off at Ashley’s house for the grand-babies.  I left them on the porch since she threatened to get a restraining order if we a much as text her again.  I have never told one of the kid's grandparents that they could not visit their grandchildren.  I can only assume she is doing it because she now has a relationship with her biological father.  Either way, I am at peace with the past and moving forward in my life.

I had a horrible experience with some cannabis this week.  I sat outside in the cold for a few hours, unable to move, talk, or think about anything.  I will not ever trust someone again when it comes to cannabis.  Yes, I am an adult, and it was my choice, but it felt laced.  I have spoken with friends out in Colorado, and they confirmed that it should not have caused me to lose control.  I have even stopped using CBD oil.  Until Cannabis is legal and regulated by the FDA, I think it is safe to avoid it.  My hips didn't hurt for 24 hours, but I had horrific flashbacks.  I have never been one to drink much, and I never used drugs.  I am aware that cannabis is a healing plant, but unless I grow it myself, I do not trust the side effects.  I know people mean well and want to help those of us who are suffering, but that was insane!

David got his fishing poles fixed up so he can bring home some fish to fry.  We also ordered our grandma & grandpa t-shirts from Deb’s Place in Whitesburg, Kentucky.  She is the go-to person for specialty t-shirts!  https://m.facebook.com/hillbillyscreeners

I hope you have a blessed Sunday!

Love Your Face 😘

Tina













Comments

Most Popular

We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo

My Reality

TennCare called today and requested a new PAE, and it got me to thinking about my daily needs. On social media, I tend to be very positive and encouraging or funny because I know how depressing being disabled can be, especially during the quarantine. I wonder if people see my social media and get the wrong impression of my reality?  Do they know that I published my autobiography and assume that I make money from book sales?  Do they see the videos I post, and assume that I don’t need help with everyday life? The cold hard truth is I need help every day with everything I do! I have grown used to people assuming things because I am capable of putting on a smile at a moment's notice.  As a trauma survivor, the ability to put on a fake smile becomes apart of your personality.  As a mother who had to fight to keep her daughter, I learned to shut my mouth and obey the system. I want to use this blog to make it clear that I need help with the necessary daily tasks.  I forget to ea