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I can’t sleep

I am wide awake at 12:55 am.  So much is on my mind, but communication is still at the forefront.  It has always been fascinating to me how humans communicate with one another.  We love to watch each other interact on television and videos now more than ever, but we still have significant problems when it comes to relationships.  I find myself screaming at the tv, “just tell them,” when couples play hide and seek with their heart.  I don’t understand why we hold back how we feel when life is so short.  I mean, think about it...we might have 70-100 years on this earth to love, marry, raise children and retire.  I know it might seem like forever when your young, but I am now 42 years old, so I refuse to waste any time playing games or living under assumptions.

Not long ago, I had an excruciating face to face conversation with someone I love very much.  I said how I felt from my heart, and he told me how he felt.  I thought I had closure until yesterday when I opened my files and seen messages he sent me just days before the breakup.  So if you are dating someone, please do the universe a huge favor and always be honest.  You and only you know how you are feeling, and there is no logical reason to pretend to feel something that you don’t.  I have hurt for over nine months because this happened to me, and my brain doesn’t help me out when it randomly hits replay on those memories.

No one in my life has any symphony for me either because their viewpoint on the situation is harsh and irrational.  Love is not something you can turn on and off like the television.  Relationships, bonds, and experiences are not like the movies.  Real-life is much less dramatic, but we humans can't seem to figure it out.  I tell myself that tomorrow is a new day and I will try to heal more with each passing day.  It is not easy, so if you have a friend or family member going through heartache, please be patient.  There is no set time limit on healing a broken heart.

May you have a blessed day

Tina

Make sure to keep safe and wear your mask.

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