Don’t let someone’s ugliness become your new outfit - Tina Milligan 05/13/2020
I wrote the above quote after some deep soul searching this evening.
Over the years, I have allowed other people's behavior to influence my reaction. I knew the minute the hair stood up on the back of my neck that Tina Louise had left the building. I was very passionate in my youth and going through surgical menopause, so I didn't put up with much insanity. I went into defense mode, and all gloves were off, especially if I was protecting my children.
However, after the dust settled, I was left feeling bad about myself. Friends would tell me that I had a right to stand up for myself, and I know they are right, but I never want to let someone else control the delivery of my response. I am naturally a peaceful person. I am happiest when I am in the forest, listening to the water. Other people’s transgressions will not penetrate my actions anymore! I owned my failures in my autobiography. I can't control if or when other people take responsibility for their past bad behavior.
This evening my oldest daughter Ashley sent me horrible emails calling me a narcissist, and she said everyone thought that of me. She went on to say she and her husband hate me, and I will never see her or my grandchildren ever again. In the beginning, I tried to defend myself, but then it hit me that instead of allowing her behavior to influence mine that I was going to say how I felt. I love my daughter, and I will always be here for her no matter what, so while she spewed obscenities, I let her know that I love her, and I am always here.
In the end, we only control ourselves. What other people say and do is a reflection of themselves. It is not a reflection of you. I know it's hard, especially when you have taken responsibility for your poor decisions, but some people need time to catch up and reflect on their behavior.
I pray that you have a marvelous Wednesday!
Much Love
Tina
I wrote the above quote after some deep soul searching this evening.
Over the years, I have allowed other people's behavior to influence my reaction. I knew the minute the hair stood up on the back of my neck that Tina Louise had left the building. I was very passionate in my youth and going through surgical menopause, so I didn't put up with much insanity. I went into defense mode, and all gloves were off, especially if I was protecting my children.
However, after the dust settled, I was left feeling bad about myself. Friends would tell me that I had a right to stand up for myself, and I know they are right, but I never want to let someone else control the delivery of my response. I am naturally a peaceful person. I am happiest when I am in the forest, listening to the water. Other people’s transgressions will not penetrate my actions anymore! I owned my failures in my autobiography. I can't control if or when other people take responsibility for their past bad behavior.
This evening my oldest daughter Ashley sent me horrible emails calling me a narcissist, and she said everyone thought that of me. She went on to say she and her husband hate me, and I will never see her or my grandchildren ever again. In the beginning, I tried to defend myself, but then it hit me that instead of allowing her behavior to influence mine that I was going to say how I felt. I love my daughter, and I will always be here for her no matter what, so while she spewed obscenities, I let her know that I love her, and I am always here.
In the end, we only control ourselves. What other people say and do is a reflection of themselves. It is not a reflection of you. I know it's hard, especially when you have taken responsibility for your poor decisions, but some people need time to catch up and reflect on their behavior.
I pray that you have a marvelous Wednesday!
Much Love
Tina
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