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Don’t let someone’s ugliness become your new outfit - Tina Milligan 05/13/2020

I wrote the above quote after some deep soul searching this evening.

Over the years, I have allowed other people's behavior to influence my reaction.  I knew the minute the hair stood up on the back of my neck that Tina Louise had left the building.  I was very passionate in my youth and going through surgical menopause, so I didn't put up with much insanity.  I went into defense mode, and all gloves were off, especially if I was protecting my children.

However, after the dust settled, I was left feeling bad about myself.  Friends would tell me that I had a right to stand up for myself, and I know they are right, but I never want to let someone else control the delivery of my response.  I am naturally a peaceful person.  I am happiest when I am in the forest, listening to the water.  Other people’s transgressions will not penetrate my actions anymore!  I owned my failures in my autobiography.  I can't control if or when other people take responsibility for their past bad behavior.

This evening my oldest daughter Ashley sent me horrible emails calling me a narcissist, and she said everyone thought that of me.  She went on to say she and her husband hate me, and I will never see her or my grandchildren ever again.  In the beginning, I tried to defend myself, but then it hit me that instead of allowing her behavior to influence mine that I was going to say how I felt.  I love my daughter, and I will always be here for her no matter what, so while she spewed obscenities, I let her know that I love her, and I am always here.

In the end, we only control ourselves.  What other people say and do is a reflection of themselves.  It is not a reflection of you.  I know it's hard, especially when you have taken responsibility for your poor decisions, but some people need time to catch up and reflect on their behavior.

I pray that you have a marvelous Wednesday!

Much Love

Tina


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