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My first love

Janna came up this morning and brought Taco Bell! Then she helped me get ready for the day. I decided to finally turn on my desktop and laptop. It has been months, and I have a book to finish. However, I spent most of the day cleaning up, defragging, virus scanning, and going through files.

I went through a ton of files, which included old email accounts and messages. It made me miss the music industry so much. I do enjoy writing, but music has always been my first love. I gave away my guitar during a store promotion, so I haven't held a guitar in over a year. I miss my suppliers and customers so much. Do you think I should go back?

Right now, life is too complicated, but it was nice hearing from friends in the industry. Just knowing they have thought about me means so much. Maybe in a few years, if my health allows, I will get back into the business.

On a side note, I emailed Scott a question tonight. It was a serious question about the next book, and he had told me I could email him. Well, I quickly realized he had lied to me again. I give up even caring anymore. What's the point? He claims to be honest, Abe, but he is a cold-hearted liar! I hate feeling this way because I am always supportive of those struggling with mental illness. Still, he has taken shunning to a new level. I pray he is never treated this way because it is cruel.

I worked all day on the computer, so I am exhausted. It has been months since I even had the desire, but now I am determined to finish the story and tell the whole truth. I have sugar-coated the cold hard truth long enough. I feel God standing beside me as I cross through to the next chapter of my life.

Much love,

Tina


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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anythi...

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Engaged

  You read it right!  I am engaged!  Patrick Flatt is my fiancĂ©!  Life has changed so much since Christmas.  I have never been so in love and felt so much love from any man.  Patrick is the mostly loving and kind man that I have ever known.  Well except for my grandpa Phil and it would be impossible to completely match my grandpa!  We have set a date for September 20, 2026.  I pray we will be able to get married in the church my great grandparents (Stevens) started years ago in Monterey, Tennessee.  I could write all day about the unselfish love Patrick shows me, but you really have to meet him.  Well I am off to spend more time with the grandchildren. Much Love, Tina Louise