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Mental Health Evaluation

So. I’m not crazy!  I never really thought I was, but today I went and had it confirmed.  The doctor said I am doing quiet well considering everything that I survived.  My medical provider didn’t change my medication and told me to continue counseling to work out my depression from the current events of the last year.  I was fortunate that the doctor is also an ex Jehovah's Witness, so she understands the shunning practices because I choose not to practice the cult religion.

I have to take a nap during the day, but as long as I don’t overdo it and avoid toxic situations, I think I am going to continue to have positive growth in my life.  My home life is stable, my doctors are stable, and my medications are stable.  Other than the relationship issues between Ashley and me, I have a positive support system and healthy relationships within my circle of trust.  My sister is still going to visit me and take small road trips, even of Tenncare cuts my benefits.

I continue to have goods days followed by many bad days when it comes to my life with Multiple Sclerosis, but my attitude about it all is slowly changing in a more positive direction.

I have no responsibilities or deadlines other than doctor appointments once a month, so I am enjoying my grandson while on my path to discovering my spirituality.  I don't know what I believe anymore when it comes to Spirituality or Politics.   However, I have decided to vote with what I know to be factual and leave the rest to those who get paid to worry about it.

I feel like I have always had a good relationship with God, but now I am free from indoctrination so I can think for myself and find out what I do believe.  I started today by watching some documentaries on all the different religions of the world.  I know for sure if it has to do with evil, then I DO NOT want any part of it in my life.  I am a warrior, but my heart is full of love and kindness.



This picture is of my new kitten,” tiny tigger.” I hope to get to bring him home soon, but for now, he is safe at my sisters.


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We have to stop meeting like this....

Tonight I talked to myself.  I said,” self, why do you feel the way you do?”  Then I said,” self, we have to stop meeting like this because it's one o'clock in the morning”!  I laughed because regardless of the predicament I find myself in, sometimes I don't understand why I do the things I do. Have you ever had a random thought and wondered, “why did I think about that?.  I try to ignore my random thoughts and feelings, but sometimes they just come out when I least expect it. Example 1 ~ When I forget to take my medication, I feel everything.  The depression, sadness, and pain flood in, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Example 2 ~ I was watching season three of Anne with an E tonight, and it hit me.  I was crying and feeling very sad.  I should be happy because it was a beautiful ending. However, my mind was thinking about how they loved each other in their youth and found each other again. Right now, in my life, love songs and anything sappy makes me cry.

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Beauty in the chaos

Early voting started Friday, so I went to town and voted in the States Primary.  It was a peaceful drive, and then Friday night, we watched the movie 2012. There are so many theories and conspiracies floating around online that the movie made me think about all of them. My thoughts quickly turn to religion and how none of us know when our lives will end. Humanity has gotten it wrong, so many times, and religious leaders continue to attempt to guess, but even the Bible says no one knows. One thing that I know for sure is the earth is a breathtaking place, and I continue to find small glimpses of its beauty amidst the chaos.  Just yesterday, we went to Fall Creek Falls State Park, and I took a dip in the cold water. Families and children were everywhere, laughing and playing.  You would never think that the USA is in an uproar. I saw no signs of social distancing or a pandemic.  I didn't see any mask.  Men were walking their dogs, and the beautiful smells of wood burning flo