First, I need to say I was wrong in assuming Scott had lied to me. We had a conversation this morning, and I had the incorrect email address. After our discussion, I started thinking about why we assume anything in life.
I try every day to be optimistic, but I am a natural empath. The State of Tennessee Department of Mental Health trained me to take care of patients confined to a bed with zero verbal skills. I had to learn the person and know what they needed just by their facial expressions, and body language. I can often look at someone and understand how they are feeling within seconds. It can be a bad ability to have because people like their privacy. Being a human lie detector is not always fun.
Now let's add those abilities to years of child abuse and broken relationships where people lied and cheated. It makes for a hot mess, especially when I love someone. I yearn to trust someone, and I am optimistic at the beginning of any relationship. I give people the benefit of the doubt and make every effort to trust. Social media makes this more manageable because I can not see or hear the person, so all I have is their word. It also makes it easier for a person to hurt me. I lose connection with my “gut feeling” when texting a person.
I try not to assume anything about anyone, but there is another factor in the communication circle. Often when you talk with a friend, family member, or counselor about a situation, they plant seeds of assumptions. Many times these assumptions are the worst-case scenario. They are based on personal experience with that individual or with someone who had a similar track record or trait. We all have these, and if we have exhibited the same behavior to a few people, sometimes they get together and swap notes. Is it fair? Is it accurate? Not all the time. However, it can keep you safe if someone is a compulsive liar, cheat, criminal or sex offender.
My best advice is never to assume anything. If you want to know something, then straight out, ask a person. Sometimes it is a simple mistake or miscommunication. My assumption was the difference between 09 and 2009 in a email address.
Most likely, I entered the email into google wrong. I should have just confirmed his email address.
Much Love,
Tina
I try every day to be optimistic, but I am a natural empath. The State of Tennessee Department of Mental Health trained me to take care of patients confined to a bed with zero verbal skills. I had to learn the person and know what they needed just by their facial expressions, and body language. I can often look at someone and understand how they are feeling within seconds. It can be a bad ability to have because people like their privacy. Being a human lie detector is not always fun.
Now let's add those abilities to years of child abuse and broken relationships where people lied and cheated. It makes for a hot mess, especially when I love someone. I yearn to trust someone, and I am optimistic at the beginning of any relationship. I give people the benefit of the doubt and make every effort to trust. Social media makes this more manageable because I can not see or hear the person, so all I have is their word. It also makes it easier for a person to hurt me. I lose connection with my “gut feeling” when texting a person.
I try not to assume anything about anyone, but there is another factor in the communication circle. Often when you talk with a friend, family member, or counselor about a situation, they plant seeds of assumptions. Many times these assumptions are the worst-case scenario. They are based on personal experience with that individual or with someone who had a similar track record or trait. We all have these, and if we have exhibited the same behavior to a few people, sometimes they get together and swap notes. Is it fair? Is it accurate? Not all the time. However, it can keep you safe if someone is a compulsive liar, cheat, criminal or sex offender.
My best advice is never to assume anything. If you want to know something, then straight out, ask a person. Sometimes it is a simple mistake or miscommunication. My assumption was the difference between 09 and 2009 in a email address.
Most likely, I entered the email into google wrong. I should have just confirmed his email address.
Much Love,
Tina
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